No, they have not called.

I feel like a damn fool! What in the world was I thinking when I wrote this cover letter? And secondly, (and much much much worse) why did I send it off to a potential employer?

I wanted this job. I wanted it bad. I wanted to stand out from other applicants.

I'm pretty sure I did.

I can just see the hiring official rolling her eyes, elbowing the next person as she says "look at what this nut wrote in a job application!" I hear hardy laughter. The next guy stops to see what's so funny. More laughter and elbowing. This goes on for a while until everyone has had a good guffaw. It's a small town. Now I'm embarrassed to walk down the street.

To whom it may concern,

I am quite interested in the cooking position within the PMC Dietary Department. My résumé shows I am a biologist by profession, so I am writing this letter to tell you that as a layperson I am an avid cook and longtime kitchen enthusiast. I am a new resident to Petersburg, looking for rewarding work opportunities, and I would be thrilled to join the Dietary Department team. My husband works for the Forest Service, and he sweet-talked me into moving here this past February. I truly love it here, though there is little work to be found here in town as a bird biologist! An alternate career path that greatly appeals to me is culinary arts and nutrition, and I love the idea of working as a cook at the Medical Center. I am an advocate for proper nutrition, health, and fitness, and I believe I have the foundational knowledge and skills to excel in this position.

Anyone other than a cook would find it odd that one of my dearest belongings is a food processor, and if ever there was a catastrophe, I just might grab my favorite spatula on the way out the door. I prefer to cook and bake from scratch. I incorporate colorful, whole foods and flavors- as fresh, organic and local as possible. I find inspiration from vegan and raw food cookbooks, always looking for fresh ways to make everyday food more healthy and delicious. For example, have you ever tried replacing heavy cream with raw cashew cream? It has similar taste and consistency, while reducing fat and enhancing nutrition. My shelves are laden with cookbooks and magazines such as “The Conscious Cook,” “Cooking Light,” and numerous essential guides to everything home-made. You would also find my cooking journal, where I keep notes and recipes from numerous informal cooking lessons from friends, such as my former neighbor from Thailand. I love to share healthy recipes, and regularly post them on my webpage. My current favorite is “cracked wheat salad with tangerines, parsley, and pistachios,” followed closely by my “colorful vegetable potato salad.” I also have an amazing recipe for a fudge cake made primarily with nuts and fruit.

Of course, I can also follow a standard recipe! As a scientist, I’m great at following protocols, staying organized and maintaining cleanliness, all on a schedule that requires planning and multi-tasking. From my artistic side, I love everything about cooking and presenting beautiful and healthy dishes. I also enjoy the challenge of cooking to meet the tastes of a specific audience, and those with particular dietary needs and restrictions. I hope that you find me suitable for the position, and I would love to talk more about your Department’s needs and how I can help meet them. Thank you for considering me as an addition to your team.

Sincerely,

Tana O'Leary

I'm completely mortified that I sent this letter. And to top it off, I included a captioned photo. And no, they have not called. God help me.



My “spring celebration cupcakes” with handmade marzipan ladybugs.